Friday, June 3, 2016

"That I can't help I am...was druchii? I just don't understand how my lord is immune to that," he shrugs. "We can go back to your silly questions about my past if you wish."

200 comments:

  1. "He's not," she says. Her voice is so low he almost can't hear her. "I've seen him put on the identity of a druchii. My worst nightmares are of him, that way."

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  2. "He can play a convincing druchii? I find that hard to believe," Gath chuckles.

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  3. "He does that often," he mumbles into his cup. "Go back to your questions."

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  4. "Fine." He thinks and then grins. "We always talk about you hating me or being scared of me. What do you like about me, if anything."

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  5. "You're always in control," she says without hesitation. "You playing around on a lute sounds better than if I had hundred years of fingering on the oud." She pauses for water. "Same question."

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  6. Gath blinks quickly, surprised she answered without hesitation and asked him the same back. "What do I like about you...what if I said nothing? Would you believe that?"

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  7. "Well, I lied. You don't even have to try, and pretty much everyone you meet just likes you and seems to feel comfortable."

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  8. Aara blinks before laughing. "I'm sure that can't be true," she laughs.

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  9. "It is. I wouldn't even bother to attempt what you do without thinking."

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  10. "I- really? I didn't think you paid me any mind except when I'm in your way."

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  11. "Did you forget that I like to watch for weaknesses and strategies? I notice other things too."

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  12. "I just didn't think I was worth watching," she mutters.

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  13. "Everyone is, and it's especially easy to watch the people you spend the most time around."

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  14. She raises an eyebrow. "We don't really see each other that often. What scares you most?"

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  15. "I see the three of you more often than I see anyone else and just because I'm not part of your little group sometimes, doesn't mean I'm not watching you or listening to what you are talking about."

    Gath rubs his chin. "What scares me the most...not many things necessarily scare me. Or maybe, if you could, explain what you mean."

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  16. "Hmmm...it doesn't frighten me, but I know I'd never want to be a slave again. I suppose I was afraid of chaos and magic and my lord with his mumbling, but none of that exists anymore, so it doesn't bother me."

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  17. She nods. "I don't think I'd be able to be bound again either."

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  18. "Is that what scares you the most?"

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  19. "Ah, well..." She laughs a little nervously. "You actually witnessed it in the pits." Aara takes a long drink, surprised that her hands don't shake and she isn't afraid to talk about it. Finally. "I was most afraid of coming face to face with her."

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  20. "And why was that? You killed her once before, correct? or was it because for a while, he was technically hers?"

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  21. Looking down at her hands, Aara makes a mudra for peace. "I didn't kill her the first time, Zorgrat did. She was the first opponent I had ever been helpless against, and she caused me immeasurable pain and terror. It haunted me; I couldn't sleep for weeks, I had to move out of Goddard's cabin so he could rest. I still have nightmares about it. Everything that happened in Har Ganeth left me feeling raw and afraid and weak."

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  22. "You should use that to fight what frightens you, so that it will never do it again. Next time it happens, if it happens, you may not make it through alive if you don't over come it."

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  23. "I don't know if anything frightens me anymore, not that badly, anyway. Except losing him again." She looks up at him. "That's why it was important to kill her in the pit. So I could get back what she took from me."

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  24. "Again? I don't think you ever actually lost him at any point."

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  25. "It certainly felt like it. He was so hurt and angry."

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  26. "He just needed space and some time most likely."

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  27. "He wanted to be away from me."

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  28. "Exactly. And just because someone needs to be away to clear their mind, doesn't mean they won't come back."

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  29. "I'm not saying it makes sense, I'm saying that's how it felt."

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  30. "Sometimes you have to listen to your head and not your feelings."

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  31. "I really wasn't in a place where I could think clearly. All I could do was feel."

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  32. "A human limitation. Give it a few years, and it'll be easier."

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  33. "That may be true, but you can't compare my human limitations to elf limitlessness. How could I have known he would take me back? Simply put, I couldn't."

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  34. Gath furrows his brow. "I'm not. I see no reason to get defensive."

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  35. "I'm not. I'm trying to explain." She takes another bite of cake, closing her eyes in pleasure.

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  36. "There is no need to explain something I understand."

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  37. "So we can move along then."

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  38. "Yes, but for the record, I was trying to help. I'm not sure what it is I'm doing, but you seem to misinterpret things. Ask another question."

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  39. "I appreciate it, I really do, but it's over and done. Why don't you trust me and Two?"

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  40. "Who said I didn't trust you?"

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  41. "It doesn't seem like it. Do you?"

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  42. It's Aara's turn to be surprised. "All right."

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  43. "You honestly didn't think I did? I bet even Two could have told you I did. Or Kryn."

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  44. "You wouldn't be the first not to trust me," she says with a shrug. "I'm an admitted theif, executioner, and assassin."

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  45. Gath shrugs. "I could handle you if I had to. Why don't you trust me? Or will the answer be a repeat from earlier?"

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  46. "Even if I didn't have my own reasons, I would trust just because Goddard does," she says. "But I do."

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  47. "Despite being an assassin, murderer, raider, and so on?"

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  48. "Despite them. Are we really so different in those aspects, anyway?"

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  49. "You probably did a lot of what you did because you had to, correct?"

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  50. "Hmmm...unexpected. I wanted to."

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  51. She shrugs. "I once told Goddard that I'd killed for glory, love of my prince, honor, and because I was ordered to. That I was good at it and enjoyed it were bonuses."

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  52. "A part of me misses it all, but most of me is glad to be away. Next question."

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  53. She thinks a moment before speaking. "Do you find it hard to accept love?"

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  54. "Of course I do. I'm used to any sort of positive interaction meaning someone wants something from me or is trying to kill me."

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  55. She smiles and gestures for his turn.

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  56. "Why do you dismiss every compliment thrown your way? You always try to convince them you're plain or something."

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  57. "I don't feel deserving of them. I try to accept them gracefully but it goes against my nature."

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  58. "Accept them gracefully? I must not have been around for one of those rare moments."

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  59. "I said I tried," she says with a sheepish smile. "I hardly succeed."

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  60. "Obviously." He motions for her to continue.

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  61. "Do we annoy you as much as it seems, or is it an act?"

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  62. "You all do annoy me," Gath snickers, "but not the way you think. If you truly annoyed me, I would lock my door or simply leave. You wouldn't know my door is unlocked or sometimes even slightly open, but he does. He 'annoys' me the most."

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  63. Her brows draw together in confusion. "I'm not sure I understand your use of the word," she admits. "I've noticed your door ajar, I just attributed it to listening for trouble."

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  64. "He walks in, talking about anything and everything and makes himself comfortable often. Or...he used to. Maybe he was bored."

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  65. "If I did that you would be angry."

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  66. Gath shrugs. "As angry as I would get at him. I've told him to go away or yelled at him to shut up, but he'd stay or just talk softly and that was that."

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  67. She stared at him for a moment, then throws her head back and laughs. "He's a genius," she howls.

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  68. "How so? Because he doesn't listen?"

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  69. She shakes her bead, catching her breath. "When Otto found him, he was wild. Biting and scratching. So Otto just...invaded him with attention and kindness. He would continue talking in a soft voice whether Goddard wanted him there or not, huh him tightly until he stopped fighting, that sort of thing. He's been taming you the same way he was tamed by his father."

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  70. "Tami...no," Gath hisses, turning his attention to the cake.

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  71. She tilts her head curiously. "Why does the idea upset you?"

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  72. "I'm not some sort of creature to tamed," he mumbles, poking at the cake.

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  73. "You remind me quite a bit of a porcupine."

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  74. "What? One of those spiked rodents?" he huffs.

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  75. "Don't be so indignant. I only pointed out the obvious."

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  76. "Whatever...ask another question," he mumbles.

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  77. "Fine fine...why the sudden real effort in trying to talk to me?"

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  78. "A few reasons. One, I'm tired of feeling the tension between you and I. It puts stress on Goddard. Another is that he asked us to have lunch together, and I agreed to it sincerely. I thought you might be more comfortable with a drink instead."

    Aara takes a deep breath, trying to arranged her words carefully. "And when I needed a friend in the pit, you were there for me. I hope to build on that, if only a little."

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  79. "Do you think that has changed? It seems like that time meant nothing to you as far as relations."

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  80. "I don't know," she says honestly. "Maybe my jealousy warped it. But it seems like ever since we got here we've been snapping at each other like animals."

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  81. She nods, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as she looks down at her hands.

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  82. She scoffs. "Of course not. I happen to think quite highly of my hair."

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  83. "Watching Goddard stumble all over himself for you," she mumbles.

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  84. "He acts like an idiot around you too. He acts like an idiot for a lot of people actually."

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  85. "Exactly. For so long it was just us. Then, here...he doesn't have to hide, and everyone wants him. Everyone. It just...it hurt more than I anticipated."

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  86. "Who cares what everyone else wants. What does he want?"

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  87. "He wanted you. And I was jealous."

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  88. "What does he want? Not wanted."

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  89. "Then that's the truth. But you don't believe him do you?"

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  90. "Of course I do. But I was jealous and that's just how it was. Everything changed so fast and I couldn't cope."

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  91. "So you aren't jealous anymore of anyone? I don't believe that. Or did you finally get him to stop acting like an idiot?"

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  92. "I'm learning to handle it with time."

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  93. "Funny how you're trying to handle it and he's trying to not do it."

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  94. "I know. He says it won't matter in time, and I know he's right. I also know the best way for it to become trivial is to just let him do what he wants. I've told him a hundred times to do whatever he wants, that it won't bother me. He doesn't believe me."

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  95. "I wouldn't believe you either," he chuckles.

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  96. "He probably assumes you're lying so he can feel better."

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  97. Gath smirks and sips his drink.

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  98. Gath spits his drink back into the cup and coughs. "Is that your question? That can't be your question."

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  99. She smirks and crosses her arms. "That's my question."

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  100. "I don't believe that anymore than I believe he doesn't love you too."

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  101. "He does not. He loves you." He clears his throat and rubs his forehead. "Let me explain...since I'm supposed to be honest...see...I just...hmmm...I do like his company, but I like Kryn's company and Two's as well, so that isn't anything...and I just want him to exist and not be miserable. That's not love..."

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  102. Gath narrows his eyes. "All right? Something else is churning in your mind. If you're so smart, what is love then?"

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  103. "You normally have some kind of long rambling response to things and you just say all right?"

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  104. "And what if we did love each other? How would that effect you? Is it even actually effecting you now since you're so certain that's the case, no matter how many times we may tell you other wise."

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  105. "There's no need to get so defensive," she says, waving down a server and asking for coffee. "You don't, so there's no reason to respond as if you do."

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  106. "Good...fine..." he mumbles, taking a large bite from the cake.

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  107. "What is it? Do you want me to be upset over the thought?"

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  108. "Sometimes I do like to push your buttons. It can be incredibly easy."

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  109. She laughs. "You enjoy causing me grief and strife?"

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  110. "Not only you. Don't feel too special now."

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  111. "So...are we done with this game? I need more wine..."

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  112. "One last question, if you don't mind, and this is purely out of curiosity," she says. "What do you want from Goddard?"

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  113. "What do you mean what do I want from him? I don't want anything from him except alcohol. What do you expect me to say? Something like the stupid books you sometimes leave around?"

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  114. "Just what you expect from being in his employ."

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  115. "He doesn't actually pay me and I have other jobs," he mumbles as he tries to come up with an answer. "I don't know, the ability to stay at that inn? It's a nice inn for a low price."

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  116. She raises an eyebrow and dips her coffee. "Are we finished pretending that I don't know you and he have slept together?"

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  117. "I never pretended anything," he snorts. "But that doesn't mean anything..."

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  118. She shrugs and stands, tossing money on the table to cover the bill. "All right. I'll see you later, then," she says with a cheerful wave. She calls out to Kryn in Arabyan as she heads for the door.

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  119. Gath stares at the money on the table, confused. What was that? What was this whole thing? Was it a trap of some kind? Should I not have trusted her? Damn!

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  120. Kryn dashes out from behind the counter to sit so close to Gath she's almost in his lap. "Sooo...how was it? It looked a bit intense in places, but no one yelled or pulled out weapons. It must not have been too awful," she says breathlessly. "Duckling! Tell me about it!"

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  121. "She...she asked me if I loved him, what I wanted from him and just left," Gath says flatly. "There were other subjects we talked about, but I feel like the whole thing was just to ask those questions. It was as if she was just on an information gathering mission. I fell into her trap. I'm an idiot."

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  122. "Are you sure? Why do you feel that way?"

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  123. "She suddenly and cheerfully just got up and left. That isn't something people normally do...is it?"

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  124. "Well she's a bit odd to start- Rafi has told me that she isn't all quite intact up here," she adds, tapping her temple. "But don't you think she might have been looking for something else, and not springing a trap? That seems too underhanded for her."

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  125. "I wouldn't put it past her to be underhanded," Gath mumbles. "I don't think this was some simple 'let's be friends' drink like I thought it was." He looks at Kryn. "Do you need any help at the bakery? I'm not sure I should go home any time soon."

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  126. "Give her a chance," she advises, patting his hand. "Come lend me a hand. I'm making a birthday cake."

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  127. Gath gets to his feet and follows Kryn. "A...birthday cake?"

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  128. "Mmhmm," she says, handing him an apron. She frowns and wiggles a finger across the chest, and his name appears in fancy script to match the cafe's sign. "For Aara."

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  129. "You can't tell her I helped make that. She'd never eat it. No one would. And why is there a special cake for something like that? Do humans live such truly short lives, they have to do something special with a cake for their birth day?"

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  130. "Yes, they do. They don't get as much time as most of us, so they mark each year they have. I think it's charming, how special they make it. I think you all need something special done for you, after what you've been through."

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  131. "That's not something I'd be getting," he grumbles. "But it doesn't matter. I don't need anything."

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  132. She leads him over to her work table, covered in sketches of three-tiered cakes with vines of flowers. "Oh, not you, Duckling," she says, lips pursed. "You don't need anything or anyone to care about you, do you?"

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  133. "I've been fine without any of that for decades...centuries. I'll be fine for the rest of them as well."

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  134. She faces him and leans on the table. "Do you ever want it?"

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  135. "What...no...no..." Gath looks at her and closes his eyes, sighing heavily, remembering she probably knows he's lying. "Yes," he mumbles so softly, she can barely hear it.

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  136. "So why, my darling little duck, won't you accept it?" She acts on a hunch and wraps her arms around him, frilly apron and all.

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  137. "Because last time I thought I had something, she tried to kill me and I ended up killing her. Not to mention, this particular person isn't allowed to even look at others."

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  138. She gives him one last squeeze before pointing to a bag of flour. "Three scoops. There are as many kinds of love as there are moments in time, Duckling, and Aara has much to give you if you let her. The sadness radiating off her a moment ago was blinding. As for this other particular person...you could say something to him. Or the person you think controls them if you're brave enough."

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  139. Gath does as she says and gets the necessary flour. "Sadness? What does she have to be sad about? Nothing. And that has nothing to do with bravery. It's not wanting to ruin anything for him."

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  140. "That's what I saw. And I'll bet you free cake and coffee for a month that if you walked up to her alone and embraced her, she'd fall apart."

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  141. "I don't want to be held responsible for a mental break down, or more likely, get stabbed. You may have seen sadness, I don;t doubt that, but she has no reason."

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  142. She cracks eggs and sends him for sugar. "Maybe she does. Why don't you invite her for another drink in a day or two? Just talk to her, like you're talking to me."

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  143. "She doesn't talk to me the way you do. She's always hiding something or trying to get at something."

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  144. "I doubt anyone talks to you the way I do," she chuckles. "Maybe you should talk to her the way I talk to you. Duckling," she adds, handing him a spoon to start mixing as she adds things in, "do you want to be friends with her?"

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  145. "What I mean is, she doesn't just talk to me plainly. She can only see what I was. I thought after the pit, we were...friends...but I obviously don't understand how this works. I know us living in some kind of peace is something he'd like."

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  146. "The pit? What happened there?"

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  147. "I guess Two wouldn't know and she probably never told him. We were all separated. I was with Aara. I knew she was scared, and honestly, so was I, but I was able to keep my head, and I tried to make sure she kept hers. I really did try to help her."

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  148. "Fear changes people. Did she mention that tonight? And," she adds softly. "Rafiq told me about being trapped, but when I asked about you and Aara, he said 'jewel of my life, some things are not mine to know or tell.' It must have been terrible."

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  149. "She did. I tried to find out what had changed after that, but I'm still not sure. I think she's just upset he and I...well...it was just once...it doesn't matter."

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  150. "Maybe she is. Human mating rituals are bizarre. Did she tell you to leave him alone?"

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  151. "She doesn't have to say it for me to know that's what she wants. Plus it's always, I shouldn't, I can't, her her her..."

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  152. Kryn laughs as she prepares pans for the cakes. "Still blaming her for what he says, are you? Duckling, that is him, not her. After we're finished here, go home and ask her straight out if she is upset about it. And then believe her, even if she's lying."

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  153. "He only says it because of her. It's technically her fault."

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  154. "How is it technically her fault?"

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  155. "If she weren't so...so..." Gath grabs at the air and makes a growling sound, "he would be able to just do whatever he wanted with whom ever he wanted."

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  156. "I see," she says as they pour the batter.

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  157. "Does that make sense? And she just pulls his chain in more and more."

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  158. "It does, but I haven't seen this in them."

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  159. "Really? They hide it well? What do you see?"

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  160. "They're...easy together. They balance one another out. I don't see her dominate him the way you describe." She puts the cake layers in the oven. "Coffee? Oh, I want to send this honey cake home with you too. It seemed special."

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  161. "She doesn't have to really try. All she has to do is exist, look sad, and she tightens her grip." He nods at the offer of coffee. "Oh, she said they had baked it together. Reminds her of sunshine or something."

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  162. A goofy smile on her face, she sighs. "That's sweet. I saw a flicker of happiness when she saw it, but it just flared and was gone."

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  163. "I'm sure she'd blame me for any loss of happiness."

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  164. She laughs and jumps up on the counter. "Oh Duckling, I wish you could see what I do. Will you at least ask her out for another drink? For me?" she asks, fluttering her lashes at him prettily.

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  165. Gath raises a brow. "What do you see? When it comes to these things, apparently I miss a lot."

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  166. She shrugs. "Her nerves when she came in. The way amusement flared around her a few times talking to you. I don't think she wanted to leave when she did."

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  167. "Then why did she leave? Probably something I did. See, always something I did..."

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  168. "I don't know. Maybe her nerves got to better of her. Maybe your sleek good looks intimidate her," she giggles, twirling his beard around her finger.

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  169. "I thought that, but she at least thinks highly of her hair," he chuckles.

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  170. "It is gorgeous hair, isn't it? I'm glad she's an elf now, it was wasted on a mortal."

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  171. "I'm sure he's glad. He'll have a lot more time with her."

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  172. "You, too, once you get over this little problem."

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  173. "This is the stupidest thing I may ever say, but I'd be fine just being around him like this. More would be nice...but..." he shrugs.

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  174. "I think it's sweet. Keep working on them, and you can have this, and maybe more."

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  175. "It'll just upset him. I'd rather not."

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  176. "Rock the boat a little," she suggests. "Everyone might take a dive then."

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  177. Gath laughs. "I've rocked it enough for now."

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  178. She smiles, tilting his chin up. "You look so different when you smile, Duckling."

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  179. "I don't do it often. You obviously are skilled at this."

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  180. She wiggles her eyebrows and runs her thumb over his lip. "I have lots of skills," she laughs.

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