"Right now." Gath bites into a piece of meat and motions for Goddard to speak.
"Yes well," Goddard clears his throat. "Aara. I just wanted you to know that I uh am happy that you're happy and no matter what, or who," he coughs and pauses.
"I just wanted to make sure you knew that," he pauses again. "That you...that even though we may not...an you may be...and I may be...well...you were..." He takes a break and quickly and quietly speaks, "YouWereTheFirstPersonI'veEverFallenInLoveWith."
He pants as if he went through an extremely strenuous activity.
She stares at him, unblinking, for a moment. "Are you certain you want to talk about this here and now?" she asks. "Because while I understand what you're saying, you still aren't making any sense. Who, exactly, am I happy with?"
Goddard shrugs. "Two...it's pretty obvious when you really look at it suppose..." He seems to sink into his seat, embarrassed. "And that's fine I already told him as long as he's around you he'd better treat you right."
"Two? What? I'm not 'with' Two- not how you mean it, anyway. He's my retainer." She folds her hands in her lap and toys with her bracelets. "How can I be? He's not what I want."
"But..." Goddard rubs his forehead. "Nevermind..."
"How could you really know what you want if you've really never been with anyone but him," Gath asks. "And being a retainer doesn't matter to some people..."
Goddard sinks even deeper into his seat. "But we never," he whispers helplessly.
Aara's face goes blank even as a blush creeps up her neck. "Well. I don't think I want to discuss this here," she says, standing. "Goddard, care to talk without an audience?"
"Aara please, I was just trying to be clear for once. There's no need to leave in a rush. And Gath is just...Gath we had wine and we talked and its nothing really."
She faces him in the empty hallway. "Except you aren't. You've told me before that you've never been in love. I know that what you and I had was different. But I don't understand what you're getting at. What is this about Two?" She narrows her eyes. "Did he tell you we slept together or something?"
"I heard a noise at night and heard you well...you know you're noisy...and that's what it seemed like in the morning and I told him not to hurt you and he didn't deny nor confirm anything though I didn't exactly ask..."
She laughs, tossing her head back. "Heard that? Well I'm surprised you didn't hear me stop it, either." She takes his hand and squeezes it. "I tried. I'll admit it. I'm lonely, and tired of sleeping alone. But..." She shrugs, looking down. "I'm in love with you, and no one can match that. It's not even that I want tenderness - I don't. But what human would let me play with my knives?"
"I can't believe I'm saying this but...you...could always ask Two?" Goddard shrugs. "With the way he looks at you, I don't think he'd care." He holds onto her hand. "And I love you but," he looks down. "That's not going to stop the wine, if you know what I mean," he sighs. "That doesn't mean I don't love you any less. And...you don't need knives. You're human."
"I never asked for fidelity," she reminds him. "Only honesty." She takes a deep breath. "I wanted to want him that night. And I did, a little. But not enough. Maybe someone else, but not him. But I don't know what to do now." She looks away, her voice catching slightly.
"I don't know what to do! How could I ever want to be with anyone when no one can possibly compare? I kept making the same choice over and over, knowing you couldn't do the same, and loved you anyway. And now, when all I want is khyrkan, I can't find anybody to bother with. And I can't ask you because it wouldn't be khyrkan, and that might be worse than a stranger!"
"I wouldn't want to hurt you anyway Aara. All I can think about is blood." He gently runs the back of his hand from her neck, down to her collar bone, and to her shoulder. "I don't trust myself. I feel there either has to be no blood or all of it."
She fixes him in a level look. "Do you actually think I couldn't stop you if it got out of hand?" She switches to druhir and speaks softly. "I'm marked by Kahine. I'm one of the best killers in Araby. Possibly the world." She leans into his touch unintentionally and goes back to reikspeil. "I trust myself, nuur'eni," she whispers. "You should trust me, too."
"I would hate myself even more than I already do if I even crossed that line with you. I don't want to be that with you. I don't want to be a monster. Not to you."
"Damn it! Maybe I'm a monster, too. Maybe Two doesn't really know what he's asking for. Maybe all I want," she murmurs, stepping right up to him, "is to make someone bleed."
"I could go find out for you," he chuckles in a low voice. "I've wanted to make him bleed for a while. Then you won't have to deal with him being terrified if he is."
She presses harder, her other hand reaching for his. "I'm going to walk to my room. Slowly. If you don't follow me, I won't ask you again. If you do..." she grins wickedly. "Maybe we can both have what we want."
"Then now. Something now," he steers her into a corner and presses his nose to her neck, still wrestling with the opposing sides in his mind. "There's no one here."
She shivers and purrs, then runs her hand into his hair. Gripping a handful, she yanks his head back. "Sorry, nuur'eni, but this is my game." She presses a free hand to her neck and frowns at the blood on it. "Tsk, tsk. You've ruined my new dress."
While she's leaning against the door, Goddard begins to go for the other side of her neck, claws tearing at her dress and scratching her as he tries to move the fabric and get more skin. Make her bleed. No you can't. Just a little. "Only a little," he mutters.
He seems to growl when she pushes him away and once she beckons, he's on her again. He kisses her roughly, not being careful with his fangs. Goddard digs his claws into the bed. You can't do that to her. She'll bleed. Yes.
She squeals as they fall onto the bed. "Yes," she gasps, reaching for the dagger she keeps under her pillow. Starting at his hip, she cuts him up to his shoulder, ruining his clothing.
She rolls them over, straddling him. The razor edge of her blade skims over her torso, slicing through tissue thin silk, revealing a length of skin. She cuts him down the other side, from shoulder to hip, drawing her knife down slowly.
Aara, this isn't you. Well, not all you. You can't come back from this.
Shut up.
A knock at the door pauses her, and Aara looks over her shoulder.
Goddard doesn't hear the knock. All he notices is that Aara has stopped. He grabs her wrist and presses the tip of the dagger into his hip, cutting deeper than she had been.
The loud sound made by the door snaps him back and he squirms out from under Aara. His eyes frantically move all over her, taking note of all the damage he's done. "Merciful Morr," he gasps.
Goddard gets to his feet and hangs his head. "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have..." He pulls the hanging fabric tightly around himself and leaves her room, cursing himself in his mind. It's as if a part of him watched everything going on, helpless to stop it, knowing it was the wrong thing to do.
He gently pulls her arms from him. "I shouldn't have done this. I should have went back to that table. Went back to the food. I wasn't myself...or was I more myself than ever..." He runs his hands through his hair, tugging it in frustration."I don't know anymore..." Goddard turns from her and begins to walk away.
She sinks to her knees, her face and eyes completely empty as she watches him go. He's long gone before Two approaches cautiously.
"What happened?" He asks quietly.
"I've lost him," she answers flatly, not looking at him. "That was my chance and I've lost him. Rafiq, I swear, on my own blood, that I will never release you from my service. If I have to live without him, you will have to watch until I die."
Without warning, Goddard sinks his fangs into Gath's arm and gets exactly the reaction he wanted.
Gath snarls and grabs a handful of Goddard's hair, pulling him off. "Are you mad?!"
Goddard holds onto Gath's wrist so he can't pull his hand away. His claws bite into his skin and Gath drops the mug of wine, putting his now free hand around Goddard's throat and pushing him against a barrel.
"Let go," Gath snarls. "Or I'll wring every breath from you until your arms fall limp."
She hears Two walk away and close the door of his room. When she's sure she's alone, she covers her face with her hands and lets out a long, shuddering breath.
Oh Ustadh, you were right. I let a fool break me, and another fool ruin me. Make me a stone. Harden my heart so that I can't ever feel it beat again.
As Goddard's grip on his arm loosens, so does the grip on his throat but Gath still holds onto his hair, not trusting Goddard to control himself. Gath blindly reaches for the mug, dips it into the barrel and takes a drink. "Do I have to hold you here?" he asks, holding Goddard's head back.
He twists in his grip and sighs. "I won't bite." Gath lets him go and Goddard moves close again, running his fingers through Gath's hair and burying his face into the crook of his neck.
Gath closes his eyes, feeling the heaviness of the wine again as he drinks from the mug. "You can keep at that as long as you don't bite me. Next time, I won't give you a choice."
Aara closes her eyes and hears the first boom of fireworks. When she opens them and doesn't see Goddard coming back, she gives up and stands to go back to her room.
Goddard nods and gives Gath's neck a kiss, testing his reaction. He flinches when a hand comes up but it's not to hit him, it's to hand him a mug full of wine. He takes it and quickly gulps it down. He plants tiny kisses on Gath's jaw but when he tries to turn Gath's face toward him, the hand comes back up and covers Goddard's face.
"I'm not drunk enough," Gath says giving him a gentle shove.
Goddard nods again and with enough wine in him, is content to play with his hair and hide from the fireworks in his neck.
Goddard jolts awake, only remembering the feeling of falling. He blinks a few times and sees he's laying on the floor with Gath among the wine barrels. Gath's hands are folded on his chest and his hair is wrapped around Goddard's fingers. The memories of last night rush into his head. Goddard groans and sits up, careful not to snag the hair.
"It can't possibly be morning already," Gath mumbles, his eyes still closed.
"I'm sorry," Goddard says softly.
Gath sits up and stretches before he gets to his feet and grabs some fresh robes. He tosses them at Goddard. "You can't wander around with those ruined robes. Hurry. I'm starving."
Goddard leads the way to breakfast feeling as if he were walking through a haze. He turns a corner and slams into someone. "My apolo..." He looks up at Two and his eyes go wide.
Goddard quickly brushes past and Gath stares at Two through narrowed eyed as he passes. "What happened?" he asks Goddard. "That was a strange reaction. For both of you."
"Leave it," Goddard mumbles.
"It must have..."
Goddard spins around and looks angrily at his retainer. "Leave it!" he snaps in a harsh whisper. "I probably wouldn't have had such a night if you hadn't opened your damned mouth!"
"You didn't have to say anything, my lord," Gath says flatly. "Whatever happened was your own fault. You can't blame me for your own failings."
Goddard grits his teeth and continues down the hall.
Two beckons to a maid and asks that a tray be sent to Aara's room before finding the steward to discuss her door. He wat he's Goddard out of the corner of his eye all the time.
The looks on their faces...I've seen it before. Hell I've worn it. They were in ecstasy.
Aara doesn't move from the window even when servants arrive to repair her door. Or when a maid sets a tray on her desk. She sits there, plucking at the tattered lace hanging around her wrist.
What would I have done to him? Would it have changes anything between us? What would I have let him do to me?
Once he's had enough to eat, Goddard stands. "You can go back to your wine if you want. I have to talk to her. I can't leave things this way." I can't leave her hurting.
Gath waves him away, not looking up from his food.
Goddard catches a moment between all of the servants moving around and peers through the door. "Aara?" He calls softly.
With a sigh he walks in. Goddard steps across the room, stands behind Aara and wraps his arms around her. "I didn't hurt you badly did I?" He whispers sadly in druhiir.
She grins. "Are you sure you could have could have resisted me last night, even at your best?" She laughs and plucks at her skirts. "This was quite a dress."
She turns in his arms and wraps hers around him, pressing her forehead to his chest. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what I wanted."
Be a stone. He's going to tell you that he loves you but he doesn't want you. Don't let this hurt. Be a stone.
"No, we can't. I don't care who you go off with, so long as you come back. I don't even care if we have anything like a marriage. I just want a life," she tells him. "We can have that, can't we?"
"He doesn't mean to be an idiot," Goddard chuckles. "And in a way, I'm grateful. He brought me back from those dark places in my mind. At least you didn't bite him," he laughs and it trails off into a groan.
"I swore that I was never going to release Two from my service, and if I had lost you he was going to be forced to watch me live without you until I die." She makes a face. "That might have been a little harsh."
She nods, laying her head against his chest. "I will. I'll send for a bath as soon as they're done. And eat. I think I want to go to the university today, would you like to go later?"
Her bath arrives as the repairs are being finished, Rayya in tow. "What happened?" she demands from the other side of the privacy screen. "Who hurt you?"
"Nothing to be upset about," Aara explains, washing the blood away. "Except the dress."
Rayya looks at the scrapped remains. "It was so lovely," she sighs sadly. "I'll just have to order another. With sparkles! What did happen?"
Aara grins. "You could guess. You threw me in a briar patch."
Goddard sinks into his bath and passes a hand over the long cuts on his sides. He winces as he touches the deeper cut he helped make. He'll have to avoid touching it or he'll never want to leave the bath. Sethai lands on the edge and looks down into the water. "I'm terrible aren't I," he whispers and scratches the dragon under it's chin.
The heat of the water and quiet of the room cause Goddard to doze off. He sees blue waves and a blue sky. It's a little hard to tell where one starts and the other ends. For a while it's calm and then he hears what sounds like a blaring alarm. The waves churn and the sky grows dark. The alarm gets louder and louder until he finally wakes up.
He's gripping the side of the tub so hard his knuckles are white and coughing up water. He feels some pressure on the back of his neck and when he turns to the side, Gath is beside him with Sethai perched on his shoulder.
Gath lets Goddard go and leans back. "You're lucky he started squawking up a storm. How pitiful would it have been if you drowned in your bath."
"You're such a helpful little thing aren't you," Gath says in eltharin to Sethai, scratching his chin. Satisfied Goddard will now be alright, Sethai turns to Gath and chirps.
Goddard wraps himself in a robe, done with the dangerous bath. "That sounds strange coming from you," he coughs.
"He is from Ulthuan is he not?"
"Yes. But..." Goddard shakes his head and decides it's best to not bother. He gets dressed and sits at the desk with his books.
"Do you want wine?" Gath asks Sethai. "Can you even have wine? Should we find out?"
Aara dresses in as smoke a dress as Rayya would provide before going to Two. Knocking on his door, she finds him telling the hours, a pensive look on his face.
When he realizes she's there, he outs down his sword and looks at her sadly. "Can I be of service, my lady?"
Aara rushes forward and takes his hands. "Rafiq, I'm sorry about last night. I was too harsh, and-"
"No," he says sadly. "I acted first and thought second. I am the who is sorry. There was blood on the door, and then you cried out, and all I saw was blood. Please, forgive me."
She smiles. "Of course. You are one of my dearest friends. I care about you so much."
He searches her face. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
She shakes her head. "No, I'm not hurt. He and I talked, and everything is fine. Better than fine. But I want to know that you and I are fine? I was so hurt and scared last night, I was harsh."
He smiles sheepishly. "You were pretty scary yourself. Aara, I don't care if its me and you, you and him, or you alone. Your happiness and safety are what's important. I will always be right beside you."
She hugs him, happy for once. "Good. And you must not be afraid of Goddard. What you saw won't happen again."
He chuckles. "I'm never breaking down another door in my life."
Two shakes his head, grossed out. "Disgusting. Let me change, and meet you in a moment."
Aara nods and goes back to her rooms. Reconsidering her dress, she changes into a sleeveless one with a high collar with gold skulls and hands embroidered. The scratches on her arms could be easily explained, but the fang marks on her neck no so.
He grimaces. "Seriously?" he asks when he sees her.
Aara grins, toying with the gold sash around her hips and the string of teeth layered over it. "They are mine now," she reminds him. "I should wear them."
He sighs, and Aara notices his clothing. His long sleeves are embroidered with his intended marks in gold, vibrant against the black. The same design is echoed down the sides of his pants. "I like this," she says, motioning to his sleeves. "Did Rayya...?"
He nods. "When I was getting outfitted. She's a little obsessive with themes, isn't she?"
Aara laughs. "More than a little. Come on, let's collect Goddard."
As they walk across the palace, she wraps a semi sheer gold scarf around her head and face.
"Behave," she reminds Two as they near Goddard rooms. "And apologize if you get the chance." When he nods, she pulls her ring out of her dress and settles it to it can be seen around her neck.
"What is that?" he asks.
"I guess you could call it a question."
"You're such a softies."
"What?!"
"A flower. A ring. How-"
She smiles sweetly as she knocks. "Two, I will knock out another tooth if you finish that semtence," she says, her voice dripping in syrupy sweetness.
"Everything," she tells him as they walk. "They teach language, music, arithmetic, science, art...just everything. I want to go see the observation today."
"She means she wants to watch them cut up dead people," Two explains from behind her, still disgusted.
"Why am I not surprised," Two mutters. "Listen, Four, this isn't like last time. Ustadh isn't here to fawn over you and make me stand down there and hold you up to see."
"How am I supposed to see?" she cries. "They might not even let me down there this time!"
Two raises his eyes to sky. "Only if there is, in fact, a God."
"Women aren't allowed in the actual theater," she explains. "The few who want to see it typically have to watch from an observation balcony. But sometimes there aren't many students," she says excitedly, "and they'll let women like me down there to watch, but the platform is too high to see properly from the floor."
"Do you know how embarrassing it is to have a thirteen year old sitting on your shoulder squealing over a diseased liver?" Two asks them.
When they reach the marketplace, both Aara and Two go expressionless. Their backs straight and heads high, the crowds of people shift and make way for them unobtrusively, some staring, others paying respect in some small way. The crowds close behind them, a few whispers added to the everyday bustle.
"If no one recognized you before, they do now," Two murmurs.
"It's the marks," she answers quietly. "That's all they really see. I hate that they all do this."
He chuckles behind her. "It is what it is, and we are what we are."
"Why not wear something that covers your arms then if you don't want the attention?" Gath asks. He looks around suspiciously around the crowd, not liking so many eyes on them.
Two grins and winks at a young veiled woman, and she drops a basket of produce. "They'll stop in a moment. Two of us together is a bit of a rarity, but they'll get on with it soon."
Almost as if the crowd can hear him, the whispers fade, but they still move away in ripples.
"They don't want to touch us," she adds. "Common people think the Mashi Al'Maut can call death upon someone instead of just killing them the old fashioned way. Goddard knows," she adds, "he saw it before."
Goddard nods. "And this is similar to how the people in Altdorf viewed me. Most people were terrified and the death wizards were used in tales to scare children." He chuckles. "Except I can actually 'call upon death' if I really wanted to though it's frowned upon."
"All that power and you waste it. A shame..." Gath grumbles.
Goddard thinks for a moment. "I don't think that would work well over all my scars. Not to mention in all reality, my purpose isn't to make anyone dead. It's to tend to the dead, the dying, and their families."
They pass beneath an arch with Arabyan words inscribed. "This is the university," she says, spreading her arms to encompass the multitude of buildings. Students rush through paved paths, fountains tinkle among cultivated plant life, and some students debate in small groups.
Grabbing Goddards hand, she pulls him toward a tall building surrounded by several smaller.
"I'll stay here and guard the stairs so they don't run off and lead you stranded," Two says, leaning against a wall.
Aara gives Goddard a bright smile and leads him upstairs. There are a few women already there, clustered together. They all wear heavy, dark colored shapeless robes and thick veils, and inch away from Aara, making a strange gesture toward her.
She shakes her head as they sit. "They think they're being clever, but they're being rude," she says softly. "Female Mashi live outside society- me even more so but they don't know that- and sometimes 'respectable' women snub us. That gesture they made is a rejection." She waves a hand dismissively, setting her bracelets to jingling. "I don't care."
"No. It doesn't bother me. I was a thief before I was a killer and fallen woman. Their acceptance doesn't matter. I have the love of the Malika," she adds, "and you."
Goddard struts over to them, sits in the middle of them all and puts his arm around the one who seemed to start the whole thing. He plucks at her veil and flashes her a fanged sly grin. "Why don't we see what's under all this fabric ladies," he says in a low rumbly voice.
Aara watches, dumbstruck. The woman he touches visibly cringes away from him and starts abusing him in loud, high pitched Arabyan, hitting his hand away with a book.
Aara rushes over as they cry out, even louder, and drags him away. "You're going to get us banned," she whispers, "and it hasn't even started yet. Besides, it's not as if they're high born, or else they'd know who I am."
"But we aren't in Altdorf, and unless you want to entertain yourself in the palace again..." she trails off, letting him remember the last time they were there.
"I have no intention of living here. Visiting, yes, but here is where we are now. I plan to go be one of those scantily clad dancing girls in the Empire and watching you get jealous when my audience gets too familiar."
"He's an idiot! Don't listen to him! I can't believe he'd lie like that! I'll take his tongue! Merciful Morr!" Even through all his hair, his hood and his cowl, Aara can see that his face is getting more and more red.
Goddard stands behind Aara and does his best to help her be more comfortable looking over the edge. "I just realized, I won't understand a word of this will I?" He chuckles.
Aara's feet dangle as he picks her up and holds her close. "No, look," she says, pointing to the students. "The university is international. It'll be in reikspeil."
"Oh good," he smiles. Goddard tries to find Gath down below. "I hope he doesn't do anything terrible. I"m not sure I could get down in time to save everyone..."
She nods, watching below as the remove the sheet. The body is already open, the ribs open like wings. The lecturer begins talking about internal bleeding and how to recognize it in a person, picking up organs and describing the way each bruises. Fascinated, Aara leans farther over the railing.
Gath watches with a bored look on his face. He frowns at how messy the cuts are and wonders if they know how to sharpen a knife.
Goddard watches Aara more than the instructor. None of this is new to him but he finds Aara's excitement and interest in what's going on below endearing.
At the end of the lecture, there is an announcement that the next class will feature surgery with a live patient. Some students leave, but more arrive, until students begin to fill the balcony.
"Surgery! Do you want to stay, or go explore the campus?"
She looks over her shoulder at him. "I'd like to see it. Maybe learn something useful. But if you want to see the library or just explore, you can take Two with you. He knows his way around."
"I'd like to see some books," he nods. "Will you keep Gath in check then? I'm not sure if he'd be bored or thrilled by watching this and I don't want him wandering off or doing anything dumb."
"If he wants to stay. We'll find you when this is done." She wiggles on the rail until she faces him. "I'll see you later," she says and kisses his lips quickly.
He smiles and goes down to Two and Gath. "You," he slaps the druchii's shoulder. "Go up there with Aara if you wanna finish seeing someone get cut open. Come with us if you want to see books."
Gath mumbles something and makes his way toward Aara.
"Two, Aara said you could show me the library. It's not like you want to see this anyway."
Looking a little green around the edges, he nods eagerly and hurried from the building into sunlight and fresh air. Taking a deep breath, he looks over at Goddard. "I don't mind gore in battle, that is simply how it is. But that is so...clinical. Calculated. It makes me uneasy."
Gath finds Aara near the center of the balcony sitting on the rail and leaning over. "I wonder what surgery it is..." she murmurs to herself, jotting a few notes into a small book.
She shrugs. "I can see well enough so long as I'm up front. But a spyglass would make things much better!"
Two nods, taking a deep breath. "I know, and I've been on the receiving end of those skills many times. But to just pull out somebody's guts..." he shudders. "It's unnatural."
He looks more and more nervous. "I mean...what I saw last night..." He takes a deep breath. "You told me if I ever hurt her, but you- she- was that normal? Should I be worried?" he asks in a rush.
"It's not hurting anyone if they like it," he sighs and puts an arm around Two, leaning close and whispering. "You've never had someone drag a cold blade across your skin slowly? Feeling it split? The warmth of the blood? The pain? And how good it feels?"
Aara frowns and sits, skirts rustling. "Um, all right. What are you talking about?"
ReplyDelete"I just wanted to make sure you knew that," he pauses again. "That you...that even though we may not...an you may be...and I may be...well...you were..." He takes a break and quickly and quietly speaks, "YouWereTheFirstPersonI'veEverFallenInLoveWith."
ReplyDeleteHe pants as if he went through an extremely strenuous activity.
She stares at him, unblinking, for a moment. "Are you certain you want to talk about this here and now?" she asks. "Because while I understand what you're saying, you still aren't making any sense. Who, exactly, am I happy with?"
ReplyDeleteGoddard shrugs. "Two...it's pretty obvious when you really look at it suppose..." He seems to sink into his seat, embarrassed. "And that's fine I already told him as long as he's around you he'd better treat you right."
ReplyDelete"Two? What? I'm not 'with' Two- not how you mean it, anyway. He's my retainer." She folds her hands in her lap and toys with her bracelets. "How can I be? He's not what I want."
ReplyDelete"But..." Goddard rubs his forehead. "Nevermind..."
ReplyDelete"How could you really know what you want if you've really never been with anyone but him," Gath asks. "And being a retainer doesn't matter to some people..."
Goddard sinks even deeper into his seat. "But we never," he whispers helplessly.
Aara's face goes blank even as a blush creeps up her neck. "Well. I don't think I want to discuss this here," she says, standing. "Goddard, care to talk without an audience?"
ReplyDeleteGoddard stands up. "There's no reason," he laughs nervously.
ReplyDeleteShe takes his hand and pulls him out of the banquet hall.
ReplyDelete"Aara, where are you going?" Two asks, coming toward them.
"I'll be back," she says dismissively.
"Aara please, I was just trying to be clear for once. There's no need to leave in a rush. And Gath is just...Gath we had wine and we talked and its nothing really."
ReplyDeleteShe faces him in the empty hallway. "Except you aren't. You've told me before that you've never been in love. I know that what you and I had was different. But I don't understand what you're getting at. What is this about Two?" She narrows her eyes. "Did he tell you we slept together or something?"
ReplyDelete"I heard a noise at night and heard you well...you know you're noisy...and that's what it seemed like in the morning and I told him not to hurt you and he didn't deny nor confirm anything though I didn't exactly ask..."
ReplyDeleteShe laughs, tossing her head back. "Heard that? Well I'm surprised you didn't hear me stop it, either." She takes his hand and squeezes it. "I tried. I'll admit it. I'm lonely, and tired of sleeping alone. But..." She shrugs, looking down. "I'm in love with you, and no one can match that. It's not even that I want tenderness - I don't. But what human would let me play with my knives?"
ReplyDelete"I can't believe I'm saying this but...you...could always ask Two?" Goddard shrugs. "With the way he looks at you, I don't think he'd care." He holds onto her hand. "And I love you but," he looks down. "That's not going to stop the wine, if you know what I mean," he sighs. "That doesn't mean I don't love you any less. And...you don't need knives. You're human."
ReplyDelete"I never asked for fidelity," she reminds him. "Only honesty." She takes a deep breath. "I wanted to want him that night. And I did, a little. But not enough. Maybe someone else, but not him. But I don't know what to do now." She looks away, her voice catching slightly.
ReplyDelete"What do you mean?"
ReplyDelete"I don't know what to do! How could I ever want to be with anyone when no one can possibly compare? I kept making the same choice over and over, knowing you couldn't do the same, and loved you anyway. And now, when all I want is khyrkan, I can't find anybody to bother with. And I can't ask you because it wouldn't be khyrkan, and that might be worse than a stranger!"
ReplyDelete"I wouldn't want to hurt you anyway Aara. All I can think about is blood." He gently runs the back of his hand from her neck, down to her collar bone, and to her shoulder. "I don't trust myself. I feel there either has to be no blood or all of it."
ReplyDeleteShe fixes him in a level look. "Do you actually think I couldn't stop you if it got out of hand?" She switches to druhir and speaks softly. "I'm marked by Kahine. I'm one of the best killers in Araby. Possibly the world." She leans into his touch unintentionally and goes back to reikspeil. "I trust myself, nuur'eni," she whispers. "You should trust me, too."
ReplyDelete"I would hate myself even more than I already do if I even crossed that line with you. I don't want to be that with you. I don't want to be a monster. Not to you."
ReplyDelete"Damn it! Maybe I'm a monster, too. Maybe Two doesn't really know what he's asking for. Maybe all I want," she murmurs, stepping right up to him, "is to make someone bleed."
ReplyDelete"I could go find out for you," he chuckles in a low voice. "I've wanted to make him bleed for a while. Then you won't have to deal with him being terrified if he is."
ReplyDeleteShe steps even closer, backing him towards a wall. "I think you're missing my point."
ReplyDelete"I don't feel it," he grins.
ReplyDeleteShe takes the gold thorn bangle off her wrist and presses it into the inside of his hard enough to hurt. "You could. But you keep pushing me away."
ReplyDeleteHe closes his eyes and tries to quiet his frantic mind. It's back and forth, yes and no. "I...still don't feel it," he says softly.
ReplyDeleteShe presses harder, her other hand reaching for his. "I'm going to walk to my room. Slowly. If you don't follow me, I won't ask you again. If you do..." she grins wickedly. "Maybe we can both have what we want."
ReplyDeleteIt's as if something snaps in his mind and without hesitation, Goddard walks up to her as if hurrying her to her room.
ReplyDeleteShe grins, strolling leisurely. "Don't rush," she cautions. "We have all night."
ReplyDelete"Then now. Something now," he steers her into a corner and presses his nose to her neck, still wrestling with the opposing sides in his mind. "There's no one here."
ReplyDeleteShe laughs, not quite believing this is happening. "Believe it or not," she gasps, "I'm not wearing a blade."
ReplyDelete"We don't need it," he breaths in her ear and rakes his fangs down her neck.
ReplyDeleteShe shivers and purrs, then runs her hand into his hair. Gripping a handful, she yanks his head back. "Sorry, nuur'eni, but this is my game." She presses a free hand to her neck and frowns at the blood on it. "Tsk, tsk. You've ruined my new dress."
ReplyDeleteGoddard smiles. "My apologies. You could always take it off."
ReplyDeleteShe kisses him, biting his lip. "You will. In a moment." Still holding his hair, she starts walking again.
ReplyDeleteHis brain is quiet for a moment as he focuses on the soft pain on his scalp. Goddard quietly and obediently follows Aara.
ReplyDeleteOnce inside her room, she locks the door and leans against it. This is happening. Is this khrykan? Pure and simple? Shut up, Aara.
ReplyDeleteWhile she's leaning against the door, Goddard begins to go for the other side of her neck, claws tearing at her dress and scratching her as he tries to move the fabric and get more skin. Make her bleed. No you can't. Just a little. "Only a little," he mutters.
ReplyDelete"Only a little..." She shudders, but pushes him away. Stay in control. Hands shaking, she strips the bed down to its sheets and beckons him over.
ReplyDeleteHe seems to growl when she pushes him away and once she beckons, he's on her again. He kisses her roughly, not being careful with his fangs. Goddard digs his claws into the bed. You can't do that to her. She'll bleed. Yes.
ReplyDeleteShe squeals as they fall onto the bed. "Yes," she gasps, reaching for the dagger she keeps under her pillow. Starting at his hip, she cuts him up to his shoulder, ruining his clothing.
ReplyDelete"Fair is far," she laughs.
Goddard makes a rumbling sound in his throat. "More."
ReplyDeleteShe rolls them over, straddling him. The razor edge of her blade skims over her torso, slicing through tissue thin silk, revealing a length of skin. She cuts him down the other side, from shoulder to hip, drawing her knife down slowly.
ReplyDeleteAara, this isn't you. Well, not all you. You can't come back from this.
Shut up.
A knock at the door pauses her, and Aara looks over her shoulder.
Goddard doesn't hear the knock. All he notices is that Aara has stopped. He grabs her wrist and presses the tip of the dagger into his hip, cutting deeper than she had been.
ReplyDeleteAnother knock.
ReplyDeleteDo something.
"Aara?" Two calls through the door.
Damn it.
Goddard's claws bite into her wrist, pricking her, and she yelps.
"Aara!"
The door crashes open, and in comes Two. Aara stares at him, her dress in tatters, covered in cuts and scratches.
The loud sound made by the door snaps him back and he squirms out from under Aara. His eyes frantically move all over her, taking note of all the damage he's done. "Merciful Morr," he gasps.
ReplyDelete"What have you done?" Two roars, stomping toward them.
ReplyDelete"Two, no-"
"Did you attack her?" he demands, grabbing Goddard by the hair and yanking his head back.
"No he didn't-"
"Look at her! And she loves you!"
Aara interjects herself between them and pushes as hard as she can, throwing him.off Goddard.
"Damn you! He didn't do anything!" she shouts, panting. "He didn't do anything I didn't ask for."
Goddard gets to his feet and hangs his head. "I'm so sorry...I shouldn't have..." He pulls the hanging fabric tightly around himself and leaves her room, cursing himself in his mind. It's as if a part of him watched everything going on, helpless to stop it, knowing it was the wrong thing to do.
ReplyDeleteAara chases him down, not caring if anyone sees her, and hugs him from behind. "Don't," she whispers, holding him tight. "Don't."
ReplyDeleteDon't go.
Don't run away from me.
Please.
"You didn't do anything wrong."
He gently pulls her arms from him. "I shouldn't have done this. I should have went back to that table. Went back to the food. I wasn't myself...or was I more myself than ever..." He runs his hands through his hair, tugging it in frustration."I don't know anymore..." Goddard turns from her and begins to walk away.
ReplyDelete"Please..."
ReplyDeleteShe sinks to her knees, her face and eyes completely empty as she watches him go. He's long gone before Two approaches cautiously.
"What happened?" He asks quietly.
"I've lost him," she answers flatly, not looking at him. "That was my chance and I've lost him. Rafiq, I swear, on my own blood, that I will never release you from my service. If I have to live without him, you will have to watch until I die."
Goddard sticks to the shadows and slinks into the darkness of his room.
ReplyDelete"What happened to you?" Gath asks from the sahdows around the barrels.
Goddard spins around surprised. "What are you doing here?"
Gath holds up a mug. "The party was boring."
"Oh."
"Did she? Did you? I didn't think that would have been the result of your conversation."
"It shouldn't have been," Goddard whispers. "And I still..." he sits beside Gath and nuzzles his arm lazily. Do it!
"Aara, that's ridiculous. He won't ever leave you. Not really."
ReplyDelete"Then you will have it as bad as I will. You'll have to watch me love him, and know you killed my hopes."
"Aara," he says, fear in his voice. "I heard sounds. Growls, you cry out. There was blood on the door."
She raises a hand, still staring down the hall. "It doesn't matter. Go away. I don't want to see you."
Without warning, Goddard sinks his fangs into Gath's arm and gets exactly the reaction he wanted.
ReplyDeleteGath snarls and grabs a handful of Goddard's hair, pulling him off. "Are you mad?!"
Goddard holds onto Gath's wrist so he can't pull his hand away. His claws bite into his skin and Gath drops the mug of wine, putting his now free hand around Goddard's throat and pushing him against a barrel.
"Let go," Gath snarls. "Or I'll wring every breath from you until your arms fall limp."
She hears Two walk away and close the door of his room. When she's sure she's alone, she covers her face with her hands and lets out a long, shuddering breath.
ReplyDeleteOh Ustadh, you were right. I let a fool break me, and another fool ruin me. Make me a stone. Harden my heart so that I can't ever feel it beat again.
As Goddard's grip on his arm loosens, so does the grip on his throat but Gath still holds onto his hair, not trusting Goddard to control himself. Gath blindly reaches for the mug, dips it into the barrel and takes a drink. "Do I have to hold you here?" he asks, holding Goddard's head back.
ReplyDeleteHe twists in his grip and sighs. "I won't bite." Gath lets him go and Goddard moves close again, running his fingers through Gath's hair and burying his face into the crook of his neck.
Gath closes his eyes, feeling the heaviness of the wine again as he drinks from the mug. "You can keep at that as long as you don't bite me. Next time, I won't give you a choice."
Aara closes her eyes and hears the first boom of fireworks. When she opens them and doesn't see Goddard coming back, she gives up and stands to go back to her room.
ReplyDeleteGoddard nods and gives Gath's neck a kiss, testing his reaction. He flinches when a hand comes up but it's not to hit him, it's to hand him a mug full of wine. He takes it and quickly gulps it down. He plants tiny kisses on Gath's jaw but when he tries to turn Gath's face toward him, the hand comes back up and covers Goddard's face.
ReplyDelete"I'm not drunk enough," Gath says giving him a gentle shove.
Goddard nods again and with enough wine in him, is content to play with his hair and hide from the fireworks in his neck.
Wrapping her blanket around her, Aara sits in the window seat, her mind pounding out the same thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou've lost him.
Be a stone.
He doesn't love you.
Be a stone.
He wouldn't stay.
Be a stone...
Goddard jolts awake, only remembering the feeling of falling. He blinks a few times and sees he's laying on the floor with Gath among the wine barrels. Gath's hands are folded on his chest and his hair is wrapped around Goddard's fingers. The memories of last night rush into his head. Goddard groans and sits up, careful not to snag the hair.
ReplyDelete"It can't possibly be morning already," Gath mumbles, his eyes still closed.
"I'm sorry," Goddard says softly.
Gath sits up and stretches before he gets to his feet and grabs some fresh robes. He tosses them at Goddard. "You can't wander around with those ruined robes. Hurry. I'm starving."
"Aara?" Two asks nervously from the ruined doorway. "Four?"
ReplyDeleteShe opens bloodshot eyes and looks at him from the window seat.
He swallows. What have I done? "Do you want to get breakfast?"
"Have my door fixed," is all she says before closing her eyes.
He nods, making a series of mudras before going down to breakfast.
Goddard leads the way to breakfast feeling as if he were walking through a haze. He turns a corner and slams into someone. "My apolo..." He looks up at Two and his eyes go wide.
ReplyDeleteTwo mirrors his expression. "Apologies," he mutters, standing still and motioning for them to pass.
ReplyDelete((druhir))
ReplyDeleteGoddard quickly brushes past and Gath stares at Two through narrowed eyed as he passes. "What happened?" he asks Goddard. "That was a strange reaction. For both of you."
"Leave it," Goddard mumbles.
"It must have..."
Goddard spins around and looks angrily at his retainer. "Leave it!" he snaps in a harsh whisper. "I probably wouldn't have had such a night if you hadn't opened your damned mouth!"
"You didn't have to say anything, my lord," Gath says flatly. "Whatever happened was your own fault. You can't blame me for your own failings."
Goddard grits his teeth and continues down the hall.
Two beckons to a maid and asks that a tray be sent to Aara's room before finding the steward to discuss her door. He wat he's Goddard out of the corner of his eye all the time.
ReplyDeleteThe looks on their faces...I've seen it before. Hell I've worn it. They were in ecstasy.
How can I ever apologize for ruining that?
Goddard picks at his food as his mind goes over last night. He stopped it. He kept me from hurting her. That's exactly what happened.
ReplyDeleteAara doesn't move from the window even when servants arrive to repair her door. Or when a maid sets a tray on her desk. She sits there, plucking at the tattered lace hanging around her wrist.
ReplyDeleteWhat would I have done to him? Would it have changes anything between us? What would I have let him do to me?
Once he's had enough to eat, Goddard stands. "You can go back to your wine if you want. I have to talk to her. I can't leave things this way." I can't leave her hurting.
ReplyDeleteGath waves him away, not looking up from his food.
Goddard catches a moment between all of the servants moving around and peers through the door. "Aara?" He calls softly.
"Yes?" She asks flatly, closing her eyes.
ReplyDelete"May I come in?"
ReplyDeleteShe laughs, the sound rough. "The door is open."
ReplyDeleteWith a sigh he walks in. Goddard steps across the room, stands behind Aara and wraps his arms around her. "I didn't hurt you badly did I?" He whispers sadly in druhiir.
ReplyDelete"No. Just some scratches. Some cuts. You?"
ReplyDelete"I'm fine...physically anyway." He rests his head on her shoulder and closes his eyes.
ReplyDeleteShe reaches up and puts her hand on his cheek. "Me too. I'm sorry, I pushed you, knowing it wasn't what you wanted. This is all my fault."
ReplyDelete"I should have better control. I can control the winds of magic fairly well but I can't control myself? Nonsense."
ReplyDeleteShe grins. "Are you sure you could have could have resisted me last night, even at your best?" She laughs and plucks at her skirts. "This was quite a dress."
ReplyDelete"I could have. You'd have been mad at me but I could have." He looks down at the dress. "I'm sorry. I've been saying that a lot lately."
ReplyDeleteShe turns in his arms and wraps hers around him, pressing her forehead to his chest. "Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what I wanted."
ReplyDeleteBe a stone. He's going to tell you that he loves you but he doesn't want you. Don't let this hurt. Be a stone.
He kisses her forehead. "I ruined your dress."
ReplyDeleteShe chuckles. "I'm almost certain I told you too. It's just a dress, anyway. I ruined your robes."
ReplyDelete"I'd have ruined them myself eventually."
ReplyDelete"I'm sorry. I just-" she sighs. "I won't bother you about it again. I understand now."
ReplyDeleteHe leans down and kisses her lips. "No more blood with us."
ReplyDeleteShe nods. "What now? Are we really going to pretend that we can only be friends?"
ReplyDeleteHe tilts his head. "Do you want that? I've never tried to see us as simply friends. We aren't."
ReplyDelete"No."
ReplyDelete"But we can't be like a typical married human couple." He kisses her again.
ReplyDelete"No, we can't. I don't care who you go off with, so long as you come back. I don't even care if we have anything like a marriage. I just want a life," she tells him. "We can have that, can't we?"
ReplyDeleteHe pulls her close and hugs her tightly. "Yes we can."
ReplyDeleteShe release a deep sigh of relief. "When you left last night, I was so scared. I think I destroyed Two a little."
ReplyDelete"He doesn't mean to be an idiot," Goddard chuckles. "And in a way, I'm grateful. He brought me back from those dark places in my mind. At least you didn't bite him," he laughs and it trails off into a groan.
ReplyDelete"No...I didn't," she says wonderingly. "Did you take advantage of your retainer?" she teases.
ReplyDelete"He wouldn't let me..." he rubs the back of his head. "If anything he took advantage of me and I was reduced to a hair brush."
ReplyDelete"I swore that I was never going to release Two from my service, and if I had lost you he was going to be forced to watch me live without you until I die." She makes a face. "That might have been a little harsh."
ReplyDelete"Go talk to him. I bumped into him earlier. He looked terrified. If he's going to be your retainer, he can't be terrified."
ReplyDeleteShe nods. "I need a bath, and some more clothes," she laughs. "They'll be done soon," she adds with a nod to the repairs.
ReplyDelete"You go take care of that then. I should probably get a bath too. We just got breakfast right away. Make sure you eat too."
ReplyDeleteShe nods, laying her head against his chest. "I will. I'll send for a bath as soon as they're done. And eat. I think I want to go to the university today, would you like to go later?"
ReplyDeleteHe nods. "As long as nothing will attack us there."
ReplyDeleteShe shakes her head. "You won't have any problems with me and Two." She lets him go with a small smile. "I'll come for you when I'm ready."
ReplyDelete"I'll be in my room."He leaves her with one more kiss before he walks back across the palace.
ReplyDeleteHe finds Gath as he expected, lounging and having some wine. Goddard goes up to him and hugs him.
"Gath frowns. "I'm confused. Did your conversation go well or poorly?"
Goddard lets him go with a laugh. "It went well. I feel a little more normal."
"Normal? What is normal for you..."
"We're going to be heading out soon. Don't drink too much and do not be mean to Aara when she comes."
"Fine..."
Her bath arrives as the repairs are being finished, Rayya in tow. "What happened?" she demands from the other side of the privacy screen. "Who hurt you?"
ReplyDelete"Nothing to be upset about," Aara explains, washing the blood away. "Except the dress."
Rayya looks at the scrapped remains. "It was so lovely," she sighs sadly. "I'll just have to order another. With sparkles! What did happen?"
Aara grins. "You could guess. You threw me in a briar patch."
She hears an excited squeal. "Really?"
Goddard sinks into his bath and passes a hand over the long cuts on his sides. He winces as he touches the deeper cut he helped make. He'll have to avoid touching it or he'll never want to leave the bath. Sethai lands on the edge and looks down into the water. "I'm terrible aren't I," he whispers and scratches the dragon under it's chin.
ReplyDeleteAara laughs. "Yes, really."
ReplyDeleteRayya drags a chair behind the screen to sit with her. "Is this...normal?" she asks, concerned. "Does he have to hurt you to love you?"
"No! Last night was not normal. Not at all. We were interrupted, anyway."
Rayya gives her a stern look. "I will not tolerate abuse, Aara."
"Mailka, he isn't abusive, I swear. Things got out of hand is all. He is in much worse shape than I am."
"Well...I can accept that. But you're happy?"
Aara smiles brightly. "So happy."
The heat of the water and quiet of the room cause Goddard to doze off. He sees blue waves and a blue sky. It's a little hard to tell where one starts and the other ends. For a while it's calm and then he hears what sounds like a blaring alarm. The waves churn and the sky grows dark. The alarm gets louder and louder until he finally wakes up.
ReplyDeleteHe's gripping the side of the tub so hard his knuckles are white and coughing up water. He feels some pressure on the back of his neck and when he turns to the side, Gath is beside him with Sethai perched on his shoulder.
Gath lets Goddard go and leans back. "You're lucky he started squawking up a storm. How pitiful would it have been if you drowned in your bath."
Rayya smiles fondly. "Then I will ignore your injuries. Do you have any plans for today?"
ReplyDeleteAara nods. "I want to go to the university and see a dissection!"
Rayya makes a face and stands. "How disgusting. I knew we should never have let that Al'Hasheem educate you."
"Malika, Ustadh gave me a wonderful education. I just want to further my healing skills."
"Still, cutting up a dead body. It's obscene and blasphemous."
Aara laughs as she leaves.
"You're such a helpful little thing aren't you," Gath says in eltharin to Sethai, scratching his chin. Satisfied Goddard will now be alright, Sethai turns to Gath and chirps.
ReplyDeleteGoddard wraps himself in a robe, done with the dangerous bath. "That sounds strange coming from you," he coughs.
"He is from Ulthuan is he not?"
"Yes. But..." Goddard shakes his head and decides it's best to not bother. He gets dressed and sits at the desk with his books.
"Do you want wine?" Gath asks Sethai. "Can you even have wine? Should we find out?"
"Don't give him wine," Goddard mumbles.
Aara dresses in as smoke a dress as Rayya would provide before going to Two. Knocking on his door, she finds him telling the hours, a pensive look on his face.
ReplyDeleteWhen he realizes she's there, he outs down his sword and looks at her sadly. "Can I be of service, my lady?"
Aara rushes forward and takes his hands. "Rafiq, I'm sorry about last night. I was too harsh, and-"
"No," he says sadly. "I acted first and thought second. I am the who is sorry. There was blood on the door, and then you cried out, and all I saw was blood. Please, forgive me."
She smiles. "Of course. You are one of my dearest friends. I care about you so much."
He searches her face. "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"
She shakes her head. "No, I'm not hurt. He and I talked, and everything is fine. Better than fine. But I want to know that you and I are fine? I was so hurt and scared last night, I was harsh."
He smiles sheepishly. "You were pretty scary yourself. Aara, I don't care if its me and you, you and him, or you alone. Your happiness and safety are what's important. I will always be right beside you."
She hugs him, happy for once. "Good. And you must not be afraid of Goddard. What you saw won't happen again."
He chuckles. "I'm never breaking down another door in my life."
Sethai flies over to the desk and curls up on one of the books.
ReplyDelete"See. He's not like you. He doesn't want wine," Goddard chuckles.
"More for me."
"Don't..."
"It'll only be a little bit. Relax. I handle it better than you anyway."
She laughs with him. "Why don't you clean up and come to the university with us?"
ReplyDeleteHe makes a face. "You aren't going to watch them cut up a dead body, are you?"
"Um...I was…"
Gath decides to occupy himself with sharpening their weapons.
ReplyDelete"I don't think we'll need those today."
"You never know my lord. It's always best to be prepared."
Two shakes his head, grossed out. "Disgusting. Let me change, and meet you in a moment."
ReplyDeleteAara nods and goes back to her rooms. Reconsidering her dress, she changes into a sleeveless one with a high collar with gold skulls and hands embroidered. The scratches on her arms could be easily explained, but the fang marks on her neck no so.
Belting her swords and daggers on, she meets Two.
"What are we doing anyway?" Gath mumbles.
ReplyDeleteGoddard shrugs. "Whatever they do at the Arabian university. I'm sure we can lean something new."
He grimaces. "Seriously?" he asks when he sees her.
ReplyDeleteAara grins, toying with the gold sash around her hips and the string of teeth layered over it. "They are mine now," she reminds him. "I should wear them."
He sighs, and Aara notices his clothing. His long sleeves are embroidered with his intended marks in gold, vibrant against the black. The same design is echoed down the sides of his pants. "I like this," she says, motioning to his sleeves. "Did Rayya...?"
He nods. "When I was getting outfitted. She's a little obsessive with themes, isn't she?"
Aara laughs. "More than a little. Come on, let's collect Goddard."
As they walk across the palace, she wraps a semi sheer gold scarf around her head and face.
"I bet even you could learn something new Gath," Goddard chuckles.
ReplyDelete"I suppose I could learn more about how silly humans do things. I never took the time to care."
"Behave," she reminds Two as they near Goddard rooms. "And apologize if you get the chance." When he nods, she pulls her ring out of her dress and settles it to it can be seen around her neck.
ReplyDelete"What is that?" he asks.
"I guess you could call it a question."
"You're such a softies."
"What?!"
"A flower. A ring. How-"
She smiles sweetly as she knocks. "Two, I will knock out another tooth if you finish that semtence," she says, her voice dripping in syrupy sweetness.
Gath sits upright, sword in hand, when he hears the knock at the door.
ReplyDelete"Calmly," Goddard warns.
Gath takes a deep breath and sighs loudly before he answers the door. He opens it wider than he usually would with a bored look on his face.
Aara ignores him, gloomy, bored attitude unable to dampen her spirits. "Are you ready?" she asks Goddard.
ReplyDeleteHe nods and they exit the rooms. "What exactly is at this university?" Goddard asks.
ReplyDelete"Everything," she tells him as they walk. "They teach language, music, arithmetic, science, art...just everything. I want to go see the observation today."
ReplyDelete"She means she wants to watch them cut up dead people," Two explains from behind her, still disgusted.
The two druchii make pleased sounds.
ReplyDelete"Why am I not surprised," Two mutters. "Listen, Four, this isn't like last time. Ustadh isn't here to fawn over you and make me stand down there and hold you up to see."
ReplyDelete"How am I supposed to see?" she cries. "They might not even let me down there this time!"
Two raises his eyes to sky. "Only if there is, in fact, a God."
"Are you too short to be able to see anything?" Goddard laughs.
ReplyDelete"Women aren't allowed in the actual theater," she explains. "The few who want to see it typically have to watch from an observation balcony. But sometimes there aren't many students," she says excitedly, "and they'll let women like me down there to watch, but the platform is too high to see properly from the floor."
ReplyDelete"Do you know how embarrassing it is to have a thirteen year old sitting on your shoulder squealing over a diseased liver?" Two asks them.
"I'd probably have been the same way," Goddard chuckles.
ReplyDeleteWhen they reach the marketplace, both Aara and Two go expressionless. Their backs straight and heads high, the crowds of people shift and make way for them unobtrusively, some staring, others paying respect in some small way. The crowds close behind them, a few whispers added to the everyday bustle.
ReplyDelete"If no one recognized you before, they do now," Two murmurs.
"It's the marks," she answers quietly. "That's all they really see. I hate that they all do this."
He chuckles behind her. "It is what it is, and we are what we are."
"Why not wear something that covers your arms then if you don't want the attention?" Gath asks. He looks around suspiciously around the crowd, not liking so many eyes on them.
ReplyDeleteShe shrugs. "Because it's what I am. I'm not ashamed of it. It just feels strange to be looked at and not seen."
ReplyDelete"I never said it had anything to do with being ashamed. Attention is attention and this much is too much."
ReplyDeleteTwo grins and winks at a young veiled woman, and she drops a basket of produce. "They'll stop in a moment. Two of us together is a bit of a rarity, but they'll get on with it soon."
ReplyDeleteAlmost as if the crowd can hear him, the whispers fade, but they still move away in ripples.
"They don't want to touch us," she adds. "Common people think the Mashi Al'Maut can call death upon someone instead of just killing them the old fashioned way. Goddard knows," she adds, "he saw it before."
Goddard nods. "And this is similar to how the people in Altdorf viewed me. Most people were terrified and the death wizards were used in tales to scare children." He chuckles. "Except I can actually 'call upon death' if I really wanted to though it's frowned upon."
ReplyDelete"All that power and you waste it. A shame..." Gath grumbles.
Two winks at another girl, who giggles and turns away nervously. "You should get marks," he suggests. "You could be the truth of the myth."
ReplyDelete"Two," Aara scolds gently. "Stop embarrassing them."
Goddard thinks for a moment. "I don't think that would work well over all my scars. Not to mention in all reality, my purpose isn't to make anyone dead. It's to tend to the dead, the dying, and their families."
ReplyDeleteTwo only half hears him as he follows a woman with his eyes and runs into Aara, almost knocking her down.
ReplyDelete"Two!"
"Huh? Oh, sorry Four," he laughs.
Goddard scowls. "Is that what I do?" he mumbles. "Ignore those close to me as I drool..."
ReplyDeleteAara's mouth turns up at the corners in something almost like a smile. "Yes."
ReplyDelete"I apologize in advance..." he almost whispers and slumps his shoulders.
ReplyDeleteThis time she does smile, even if she doesn't look at him as they walk. "Just don't plow me over," she advises.
ReplyDeleteTwo sighs as they leave the market and move into finer buildings and open courtyards.
"I won't," Goddard promises. "Ooor..." he grins.
ReplyDeleteGath rolls his eyes and sighs. "How much farther? I can't take these two anymore."
"Maybe if I had a beautiful woman on my arm I could pay attention," Two suggests. "But you'll do, Four," he laughs, offering his arm.
ReplyDeleteAara rolls her eyes and lets him tuck her hand in the crook of his arm. "We're almost there," she assures Gath.
"Good. How can you put up with them?"
ReplyDelete"I just glorify in the knowledge that I can beat both of them up."
ReplyDelete"Hmm yes. That does help."
ReplyDeleteGoddard glares at Gath.
They pass beneath an arch with Arabyan words inscribed. "This is the university," she says, spreading her arms to encompass the multitude of buildings. Students rush through paved paths, fountains tinkle among cultivated plant life, and some students debate in small groups.
ReplyDeleteGrabbing Goddards hand, she pulls him toward a tall building surrounded by several smaller.
"I'd ask where you were taking me but I'm sure you wouldn't answer," Goddard laughs.
ReplyDelete"The medical observatory," she says. When they reach the shadowy building, Two speaks with someone at the door.
ReplyDelete"Well," he tells them. "The three of us are welcome to view today's work from the theater. Aara has to stay in the balcony."
She droops a little. "Ah well. Better than nothing. Go on," she says, waving her hands to the theater door. "I'll be up top."
Goddard turns to her. "You don't want some company?"
ReplyDelete"You don't want to watch from so far away, but I wouldn't say no," she says, nodding to the balcony twenty feet above the platform.
ReplyDelete"I know a surprisingly large amount about innards anyway," he chuckles. "I'll go with you."
ReplyDelete"I'll stay here and guard the stairs so they don't run off and lead you stranded," Two says, leaning against a wall.
ReplyDeleteAara gives Goddard a bright smile and leads him upstairs. There are a few women already there, clustered together. They all wear heavy, dark colored shapeless robes and thick veils, and inch away from Aara, making a strange gesture toward her.
Gath doesn't follow Goddard and stays down in the theater.
ReplyDelete"Is this another 'look at her arms' things?" Goddard whispers. "And how come they make you stay up here?"
She shakes her head as they sit. "They think they're being clever, but they're being rude," she says softly. "Female Mashi live outside society- me even more so but they don't know that- and sometimes 'respectable' women snub us. That gesture they made is a rejection." She waves a hand dismissively, setting her bracelets to jingling. "I don't care."
ReplyDelete"Should I scare them? I'm pretty sure I could scare them or make them incredibly uncomfortable," he snickers.
ReplyDelete"No. It doesn't bother me. I was a thief before I was a killer and fallen woman. Their acceptance doesn't matter. I have the love of the Malika," she adds, "and you."
ReplyDelete"I'm going to do it anyway," he mumbles.
ReplyDeleteGoddard struts over to them, sits in the middle of them all and puts his arm around the one who seemed to start the whole thing. He plucks at her veil and flashes her a fanged sly grin. "Why don't we see what's under all this fabric ladies," he says in a low rumbly voice.
Aara watches, dumbstruck. The woman he touches visibly cringes away from him and starts abusing him in loud, high pitched Arabyan, hitting his hand away with a book.
ReplyDeleteGoddard simply smiles at her and stands close to someone else. "Maybe you'll take me up on that offer?"
ReplyDeleteAara rushes over as they cry out, even louder, and drags him away. "You're going to get us banned," she whispers, "and it hasn't even started yet. Besides, it's not as if they're high born, or else they'd know who I am."
ReplyDelete"Their reaction was worth it," he laughs. "And who cares? We could go to Altdorf and they might even let you poke around yourself."
ReplyDelete"But we aren't in Altdorf, and unless you want to entertain yourself in the palace again..." she trails off, letting him remember the last time they were there.
ReplyDelete"We could go back...I didn't think we were going to live here..."
ReplyDelete"I have no intention of living here. Visiting, yes, but here is where we are now. I plan to go be one of those scantily clad dancing girls in the Empire and watching you get jealous when my audience gets too familiar."
ReplyDelete"Why would I be jealous? Will you be jealous when I don't pay attention to you because I'm too busy paying attention to your coworkers..."
ReplyDeleteShe grins. "Gath told me about your jealousy. And...yes, probably. Which is why I'll simply have to outshine them so I can take you home."
ReplyDelete"Wh-what does he say about me?! What lies does he tell you!?"
ReplyDeleteShe grins. "We just talked a little out in the desert. He said you were jealous of Two."
ReplyDelete"He's an idiot! Don't listen to him! I can't believe he'd lie like that! I'll take his tongue! Merciful Morr!" Even through all his hair, his hood and his cowl, Aara can see that his face is getting more and more red.
ReplyDeleteShe bites her lip, trying not to laugh at him. "Oh nuur'eni, it is true! Why on earth would you be jealous of him?"
ReplyDelete"Exactly! I'm not! I just don't really like him! For...reasons! I don't really like Gath either and I'm not jealous of him!"
ReplyDelete"All right," she says, not believing a word of ot. "I'm the only jealous one. But you give me reason sometimes," she murmurs, nuzzling his neck.
ReplyDelete"When's this dead guy thing start?" he mumbles, crossing his arms.
ReplyDelete"When it starts," she answers against his neck. She pulls away when he's not responsive. "Don't pout. Soon."
ReplyDelete"Why'd you move?" he asks, dropping his whole grumpy act.
ReplyDeleteShe blushes and her hands fidget, looking suddenly like the innocent he met years ago. "Grumps don't get public displays of affection?"
ReplyDelete"Hmm fair enough I suppose."
ReplyDeleteThe theater below fills with students, and Aara jumps up to lean over the rail. "Look! They're bringing it out!"
ReplyDeleteTwo young men carry a stretcher with a sheet draped over it. "I wonder what they'll cover today."
Goddard stands behind Aara and does his best to help her be more comfortable looking over the edge. "I just realized, I won't understand a word of this will I?" He chuckles.
ReplyDeleteAara's feet dangle as he picks her up and holds her close. "No, look," she says, pointing to the students. "The university is international. It'll be in reikspeil."
ReplyDelete"Oh good," he smiles. Goddard tries to find Gath down below. "I hope he doesn't do anything terrible. I"m not sure I could get down in time to save everyone..."
ReplyDeleteShe nods, watching below as the remove the sheet. The body is already open, the ribs open like wings. The lecturer begins talking about internal bleeding and how to recognize it in a person, picking up organs and describing the way each bruises. Fascinated, Aara leans farther over the railing.
ReplyDelete"Don't fall." Goddard holds onto her a little tighter.
ReplyDeleteShe nods vaguely. "Don't let me," she murmurs.
ReplyDeleteAway from them, the other women take notes and whisper amongst themselves about the lecture. Below, the lecturer goes on.
Gath watches with a bored look on his face. He frowns at how messy the cuts are and wonders if they know how to sharpen a knife.
ReplyDeleteGoddard watches Aara more than the instructor. None of this is new to him but he finds Aara's excitement and interest in what's going on below endearing.
At the end of the lecture, there is an announcement that the next class will feature surgery with a live patient. Some students leave, but more arrive, until students begin to fill the balcony.
ReplyDelete"Surgery! Do you want to stay, or go explore the campus?"
"Do you want to watch the surgery? You seem excited about it."
ReplyDeleteShe looks over her shoulder at him. "I'd like to see it. Maybe learn something useful. But if you want to see the library or just explore, you can take Two with you. He knows his way around."
ReplyDelete"I'd like to see some books," he nods. "Will you keep Gath in check then? I'm not sure if he'd be bored or thrilled by watching this and I don't want him wandering off or doing anything dumb."
ReplyDelete"If he wants to stay. We'll find you when this is done." She wiggles on the rail until she faces him. "I'll see you later," she says and kisses his lips quickly.
ReplyDeleteHe smiles and goes down to Two and Gath. "You," he slaps the druchii's shoulder. "Go up there with Aara if you wanna finish seeing someone get cut open. Come with us if you want to see books."
ReplyDeleteGath mumbles something and makes his way toward Aara.
"Two, Aara said you could show me the library. It's not like you want to see this anyway."
Looking a little green around the edges, he nods eagerly and hurried from the building into sunlight and fresh air. Taking a deep breath, he looks over at Goddard. "I don't mind gore in battle, that is simply how it is. But that is so...clinical. Calculated. It makes me uneasy."
ReplyDeleteGath finds Aara near the center of the balcony sitting on the rail and leaning over. "I wonder what surgery it is..." she murmurs to herself, jotting a few notes into a small book.
"They are trying to help though, as opposed to just killing," Goddard chuckles.
ReplyDeleteGath silently appears beside Aara. "Next time, bring a spy glass. How do they expect anyone to see anything from up her?."
She shrugs. "I can see well enough so long as I'm up front. But a spyglass would make things much better!"
ReplyDeleteTwo nods, taking a deep breath. "I know, and I've been on the receiving end of those skills many times. But to just pull out somebody's guts..." he shudders. "It's unnatural."
"I guess it may also help if you weren't so short," he chuckles, looking down at her.
ReplyDelete"It's fun," Goddard says before he can cover his mouth with his hands.
"That would help, yes," she answers.
ReplyDeleteTwo looks a little sick. "You, um, haven't ever...done anything like with.....with her?"
Goddard squints at Two. "If I pulled her guts out, she wouldn't be alive right now..."
ReplyDeleteHe looks more and more nervous. "I mean...what I saw last night..." He takes a deep breath. "You told me if I ever hurt her, but you- she- was that normal? Should I be worried?" he asks in a rush.
ReplyDelete"It's not hurting anyone if they like it," he sighs and puts an arm around Two, leaning close and whispering. "You've never had someone drag a cold blade across your skin slowly? Feeling it split? The warmth of the blood? The pain? And how good it feels?"
ReplyDeleteTwo's face goes blank as he relies on his training, and his eyes go hard. "What I'm asking is do you make it a habit of abusing my master?"
ReplyDelete"It isn't abuse," he growls. "Not to mention she was the one with the dagger. I can't help that I have claws and sharp teeth."
ReplyDelete