Friday, May 27, 2016

Goddard looks down at his hands. "I...I only did anything that once...I wasn't quiet all there when it happened, and I regret it. I'm sorry. But never anything like that lecai. Not ever."

200 comments:

  1. "I don't want to know," she says quickly. "I don't. Not about him. You can tell me anything about anyone else."

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  2. "There hasn't been anyone else. I just...I wanted you to know I'm sorry and that I'm trying."

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  3. She looks up, startled. "Why? It doesn't matter."

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  4. "But it does. You say I can talk about anyone else, that is, until there actually ends up being someone else...which there won't be!" he says quickly. "And you even threatened Tallyn."

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  5. She snorts. "No I didn't. Do I have to do it first so you'll believe me?"

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  6. Goddard furrows his brow. "If you didn't threaten him, then what did you say?"

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  7. "I told him it makes you uncomfortable and that I found it a little funny." She reaches across the table for his hands. "I swear, Nuur'eni, it won't bother me."

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  8. "It is funny. You get so flustered and it's adorable. Uzzaya knows you laughed at me every time I got embarrassed and blushes before."

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  9. "Yes, but you weren't stressed out over it...were you? I can still make you blush."

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  10. "Trust me, I was," she giggles. "And yes, you do, it just doesn't affect me the same way." She squeezes his hands and sighs. "Goddard, if you aren't going to take advantage of our agreement, why did we go round and round over it? I want you to be happy."

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  11. "I thought it could be something we could do, but the more I thought about it, the more I didn't think it could work. I don't think it works if one is...all over the place...and the other isn't."

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  12. "So I do have to start first," she snickers. "Love, I am so grateful for the time we've been given that I don't care," she insists. "Go seek pleasure with half a dozen creatures a day, just be with me at the end of it."

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  13. Goddard shakes his head and smiles. "You don't have to do anything."

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  14. "Then don't use my inactivity as an excuse to not enjoy yourself," she says. "Besides, if or when I do have...an encounter, I doubt you'll even know."

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  15. He chuckles softly. "If you ever do, I'm sure you'd be red and awkward all day."

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  16. She raises a brow. "Perhaps. Or maybe I'd just stay quiet and not mention it at all. But it doesn't matter."

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  17. "What I'm imaging is far more entertaining and cute."

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  18. Try as she might to avoid it, a faint blush tints her golden brown skin. "You're getting off the subject."

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  19. He grins and taps her nose. "There it is. I think the best was when I was telling you to go work on 'your song' you helped 'write', not knowing what the real story was."

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  20. Her blush deepens. "We were talking about you and Gath."

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  21. "About how awful Gath is? And let me guess, he offered to make everything better?" Goddard chuckles.

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  22. "No, we were talking about you and him. Not how awful he is. Which...which he isn't."

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  23. "He is. I know you think he is, and you can talk to me about it. Maybe he'll catch us talking about how awful he is and he'll get huffy but pretend it doesn't bother him."

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  24. "He's not. We're at odds a lot, but he's not..." She looks away again. "He's not like the other druchii. Or, maybe he doesn't want to be?"

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  25. "I think that's it. He doesn't want to be. He couldn't stay here if he stayed the same."

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  26. "So I just have to move past my...reservations...where druchii are concerned, and remember that."

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  27. "He's still awful, and a lot of that has nothing to do with being a druchii," he laughs.

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  28. "Well that just makes him a regular ass," she tells him. "No more irritating than Two."

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  29. "Exactly. So if you and Two can get along, and Gath and Two can get along, surely so can he and I."

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  30. "It feels so long ago that I tried to set up that lunch for both of you," he sighs. "I suppose it was my fault it was ruined."

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  31. "No, it's mine. It would have been fine if I had let things run their course and hadn't come down down here trying to talk him into going to you. Don't worry about me and him."

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  32. "You tried to do what? Why would you do that?"

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  33. "Because I'm stupid and thought I could help."

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  34. "You aren't stupid lecai. A bit confusing though. You don't even want to think about him and I but you'd send him to me?" Goddard chuckles.

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  35. She slides her hands away from his and hides them in her lap. "I went you happy. Even if I don't understand it."

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  36. "Your happiness is more important to me." He raises a brow. "Are you doing your hand things? Just talk to me."

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  37. Aara lifts her hands, bracelets chiming, before lowering them again. "No mudras. I am talking to you. I know that you want him- I don't understand it, but I know it. And if it takes both of us to make you happy...so be it," she says with a shrug.

    Just remember what Gill said, she thinks. Be better.

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  38. Goddard rubs his forehead. "You don't understand hmmm...well...I'm sure you'd agree, I'm greedy. I've never had a reason not to be." He peeks up at her for a second before looking back down at the table. "You're...soft and kind and loving. I feel like I'm strong and I need to keep you safe. And he...is the absolute opposite. I don't necessarily need that, I just...want it...like how father wants chocolate."

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  39. Aara bites her lip and bows her head, clenching her hands together. It's not even something I can't give him...Just what he doesn't want from me.

    "So that's it, then," she says with false cheer as their lunch is served. "Oh this looks delicious. Go ahead and bring more of this wine," she tells the server as she sets their cups on the table.

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  40. Goddard frowns. "What is it? I'm being honest with you. Please be honest with me?"

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  41. "That's it," she says, focusing on deboning her fish. "I didn't understand, and now I do."

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  42. "You didn't seem to take it too well though. I said I didn't need that. What I do need is you. I'd give up anything to keep you."

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  43. She brandishes the fish spine triumphantly. "I don't know what you're talking about." She sprinkles herb salt from a little pot on the table over her fish. "You told me. I know. Now lunch is here."

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  44. Goddard frowns and silently picks at his fish, pulling the meat away rather than removing the bones as Aara did.

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  45. After a few moments of silence, she takes a long drink. "How do you want me to react?" she says softly. "Do you want me to tell you that I could- and have, I thought- given you what you want from him? I'm not angry, is that what you expected?"

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  46. "You're nothing like him lecai," Goddard says. "Or...is that what bothers you?"

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  47. She considers her words carefully. "Only in the sense that he is an elf, and I am not. He..." She takes another deep drink of her wine. "He can give you something you don't necessarily want from me."

    There. Honesty. Why is it so damn hard?

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  48. "What do you mean don't want from you? The only thing I don't want from you is anger."

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  49. "I'm not angry." Her hands shake a little, and she covers it by tearing apart a piece of bread and breaking it into pieces. "You called me soft and kind, but you know that's not true."

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  50. "You are. You were the second kindest person I had ever met. Father being the first. You weren't afraid of me. You trust me and you are soft. Your lips being the softest. You're like everything a rose is, but better. Including the thorns."

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  51. Aara stays silent, toying with her food.

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  52. "That...wasn't anything you wanted to hear was it?" he sighs. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not very good with words."

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  53. She laughs a little. "No, it was perfect, Nuur'eni. You just can't help that I'm...well, I'm afraid of how he'll change our relationship. Because you two care about each other."

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  54. "No! No...no...he hates me...and he's awful...but just remember, nothing, no one, can ever change what we have. The only thing that I see changing, is us loving each other more and more. That's not a bad thing."

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  55. She laughs at him and shakes her head. You even lie to yourself. "I didn't know hatred could spice desire," she laughs.

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  56. "Unless he told you something special, I can only assume he hates me."

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  57. "I don't know. Every time I draw a conclusion he denies it."

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  58. "And you know he doesn't usually lie, so there you have it. Worried for nothing."

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  59. "Then what are you worried about exactly?" Goddard pauses for a moment. then laughs. "Don't tell me you see him whisking me off into the sunset, far away from you. Though, I must say, that's a funny image."

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  60. She chokes on her fish, patting her chest and coughing.

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  61. "Are you alright lecai? It wasn't that funny!"

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  62. She holds a hand up and drinks deeply. "That's- um- not exactly what concerns me," she admits unsteadily.
    "But you're near enough."

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  63. "What is it? So I can assure you, whatever it is, will never happen."

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  64. She looks down at the table, tearing apart more bread.

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  65. "You can't eat bread forever..." he says, leaning forward on his elbows.

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  66. "What if..." Goddard motions for her to continue.

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  67. "You..." Her voice gets soft enough that he almost can't hear. "Get bored? Of me..."

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  68. "Lecai, I could never get bored of you. Do I ever seem bored now?"

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  69. "I honestly don't see how I could ever get bored."

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  70. She eats a little more, wishing anyone would walk up and end the conversation. "Maybe your preference will change. You tell me all the time that I'll change."

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  71. "My preferences? I'm not sure I have any?" he laughs nervously. "That sounds terrible doesn't it? I know there are things I don't want to deal with. For instance, personalities like Two's or Tallyn's or Zeus's, but that's different."

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  72. "I mean preferring me over...most."

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  73. "There is no one like you. No one else could ever give me what you give me. I don't have words to explain how important and how special you are to me."

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  74. She blinks away tears tries to grin. "You mean years of torment and naked dinners?"

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  75. "Yes," he grins. "That's something I will only share with you."

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  76. And our sharper, former pleasures? Ah, no, Aara. Don't ask about that again.

    "I don't know why I feel so threatened," she admits.

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  77. "Keep talking then, and we can figure it out," Goddard smiles.

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  78. "What more can I say? Half the time I still feel like I've only just taken off my veil, or that I'm doing something wrong. This whole...thing, feels just like when Koroush cut me free. How can I not be afraid of losing the one person who makes me feel grounded?"

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  79. "Do you trust me? Do you trust that I love you with all my heart? That I will never abandon you?"

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  80. "Then I think you just need more confidence in yourself my love."

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  81. "I think I'd rather go back to being invisible," she snickers. "I'm perfectly secure in my skills. How does one build confidence like you mean?"

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  82. "I'd think it would be easy with all the compliments you get."

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  83. "Hmm...confident in your skills then...are you confident in your bedroom skills?"

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  84. Her fork clatters to the plate. "Suddenly, no."

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  85. "Lecai!' he groans. "Why? To me, that's your best skill!"

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  86. "Well I was, but then you asked and you have so much to compare, and I have...not."

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  87. "Well, I obviously think highly of your skills and keep coming back for more..."

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  88. "If you didn't you'd have to admit to being a bad teacher since you're the one who...educated...me."

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  89. "And I know I'm not a bad teacher," he grins. "I know what I'm doing, so that means you do too."

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  90. She blushes. "What if you're the only one who...likes me. I mean, I think it's strange to kiss a man without fangs," she blurts.

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  91. "If I'm the only one who likes you, then everyone else has extremely poor taste," he says, shaking his head. "Though I'm pretty sure I could think of a handful of men who would love to prove that wrong," Goddard mumbles as he rolls his eyes.

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  92. Her eyes widen. "A whole handful?"

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  93. Goddard chuckles and nods. "Tallyn for one. He likes you. Maybe too much..."

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  94. "He's sleep with anybody. He's not very picky."

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  95. "I don't think he's as bad as I am," Goddard mumbles, "but that doesn't matter. He does like you. And so does Gill, Zeus, and that vagrant...what's his name...Kote, I'm sure Two still does to some extent. How can you not see this?" he laughs.

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  96. "Gill?" She laughs. "No. And Zeus hasn't even paid me any mind, and Kote is just chasing his next muse. Two has his hands full." She shakes her head and takes a sip of wine. "How could I see anyone beyond you, anyway? You're the light of my life, Nuur'eni."

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  97. Goddard reaches across the table and holds his hands open, hoping she'll put her hands in his. "I love you. And you can't deny there is at least Tallyn and Kote. I know what that looks like."

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  98. She puts her hands on his and smiles. "I love you. And I don't think either of them really count of it's only convenience and boredom that drives them," she says, nodding to a corner where Kote is tucked in with a blonde. "He isn't exactly pining."

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  99. "So that's what you need to feel like someone likes you? Someone who feels the way I do?"

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  100. "I don't know! But certainly not someone who makes me feel like...I don't know, a chair."

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  101. "Do you want more than just me?"

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  102. Goddard chuckles at her surprise. "I'm just trying to figure out what you want lecai. You wouldn't just want kyrkhan but you wouldn't want more than that."

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  103. She props her elbows on the table and puts her head in her hands. "I don't know. I don't know how to do any of this."

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  104. "You don't have to do anything. We don't have to change anything," he smiles.

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  105. "But you're not happy this way, are you?"

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  106. "I think any of my unhappiness is in trying to not do what I've always done. Changing. I've been the way I am for a very long time and it's hard to be any different."

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  107. "Exactly! So do what you do, and I'll... I don't know. Figure it out."

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  108. "That's trying to make you change too. I think it's easier for me to...maybe."

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  109. She lifts her head from her hands and looks at him. "I'm already changing," she says. "Pointy ears and added years. I don't even look the same anymore. This might be easier," she chuckles.

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  110. "That's just what you look like," he smiles. "You're still the same on the inside, and those added years haven't happened yet."

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  111. She shakes her head but smiles back at him. "I have learned many things about myself, and it will take time to make them a part of me. This is nothing in comparison."

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  112. "I'm still learning about myself as well."

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  113. "So let's compromise," she suggests. "And each of us change only a little?"

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  114. "I'll try. I'm not sure how I could change a little in my case, but I will still try my best."

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  115. "Then don't change at all. I don't see why you're so keen to do it anyway. Goddard," she says, leaning forward. "Just do what you like."

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  116. Goddard chuckles. "So I should procrastinate on my studies more and spend all day in bed with you?"

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  117. "If I'm the one you want to spend it with."

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  118. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

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  119. She laughs. "I know you do," she tells him. "And I'm not going anywhere. But you can spend the day with someone else if you like. I should tend to my own studies, too."

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  120. "What am I supposed to do while you're busy? Bother Tallyn?"

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  121. "If you want. I'm sure he'd love to entertain you."

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  122. "I'm not sure I want his idea of entertaining me..."

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  123. She looks at him with wide, innocent eyes. "Do you think it's very different from how he entertains me?"

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  124. "Of course! Plus, I'm weak...I can't resist everyone as well as you can," he chuckles.

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  125. "Oh? You seem to reject them at every turn."

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  126. "I can only resist and reject for so long," he admits.

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  127. She laughs and shakes her head. "We'll do whatever you like. I'm not due at Locke's for a few more days."

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  128. "Maybe you should choose something? My mind seems to have only one thing on it," he grins..

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  129. "Yesterday I made all the decisions," she reminds him. "But I will again. After we finish this delightful lunch, you and I will go upstairs..."

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  130. "Are you going to tell me more now, or will it be a surprise when we get upstairs?"

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  131. She flutters her lashes and takes a sip of wine. "Do you want me to tell you more?" she asks huskily.

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  132. Goddard leans forward on the table and nods. "Of course."

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  133. "Then I'm going to go to my room," she murmurs. "Open the window, and..."

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  134. "Open the window?" he asks a bit confused, but still just as interested.

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  135. "And then I'm going to sit down to my studies," she says primly. "And you to yours."

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  136. Goddard slowly lowers his head until it softly bumps against the table. "Lecai!" he whines.

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  137. "What do you want to do?" she asks. "Something a little more physical?"

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  138. His ears prick up. "Yes! That! What ideas do you have for that?"

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  139. "We could go for a run!" she says excitedly.

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  140. Aara laughs loudly. "Then please, my love, tell me what you want to do. We have no deadlines, we aren't pressed for time, so we can study anytime."

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  141. "Then we'll just go upstairs, lock ourselves in your bedroom, and see what happens."

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  142. "Practice shimmying down the drainpipe?" she asks curiously.

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  143. "If...if that's what you want to call it?"

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  144. She gasps and covers her mouth, blushing.

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  145. Goddard laughs. "Are we not on the same page?"

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  146. "It seems I have my mind on more academic pursuits?" she giggles. "Or are you curious about those depths of depravity I mentioned earlier?"

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  147. "That second one," he grins. "But if you have your mind on something else, I think I'll be able to live while you study."

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  148. She grins wickedly and stabs at her fish. "I'm sure you can change my mind if you persuade me a little..."

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  149. Goddard looks down at the fish. "As long as you don't draw any blood..."

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  150. "Goddard." She waits till he looks up at her. "My Ustadh taught me how to not draw blood, too."

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  151. "Well then...let's go keep those skills sharp...not...sharp...whatever!"

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  152. She laughs. "One day you're going to give in on the sharp ones, too," she tells him. "But I can be patient."

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  153. "Maybe...I have a feeling this will keep me satisfied."

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  154. She smiles sweetly. "I'll do my best, love."

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  155. "Are you done eating? I'm done eating. Let's go upstairs. Now. Bring the wine."

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  156. "No," she says. "I'm not finished. You're going to be patient."

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  157. Goddard bites his lip. "Is this some kind of torture that's part of all this?"

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  158. She nods, taking her time enjoying her meal. "As a matter of fact, it is. So you trust me, Nuur'eni?"

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  159. "I do, I just don't know how long I can hold out before I throw everything off this table and put you on it..."

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  160. "You will not," she tells him. "Otherwise I'll have to be extraordinarily nice to you instead of tying you down and getting mean."

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  161. Goddard makes a soft, sad sound and picks at the rest of his food. "I think I'm going to like this."

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  162. "I think you might. I've been thinking about it a week or two."

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  163. "You've been thinking on this that long, and you haven't said anything about it?" he gasps.

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  164. She nods, moaning in pleasure over the fish and vegetables.

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  165. "That isn't helping," he mumbles.

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  166. Aara grins at him and moans again, louder. "I know."

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  167. Goddard tries to ignore Aara and focus on his food.

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  168. After watching him squirm and pick at his food a while, she dabs her mouth primly and stands. "Get the wine, will you?" she says and walks toward the stairs.

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  169. Goddard quickly hops out of his chair, grabbing the wine. "Any hints on what I can expect?" he asks as he follows her.

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  170. "Well...I'm going to start by tying you down to the bed," she tells him. "Blindfold you. And..." She flutters her lashes at him. "You'll feel the rest."

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  171. "So this wine is for you? All for you? I'm fine with that. I'm sure you'll deserve every drop."

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  172. Goddard chuckles. "I look forward to this. And you thought I'd be bored. I'm excited!"

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  173. "I said one day you might be," she corrects, opening the door to their apartment.

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  174. "Impossible! I could do this forever!"

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  175. She grins. "Do you want to keep those clothes? If you do, I suggest you go undress and lie down."

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  176. Goddard rushes off to Aara's room with the wine to do as she says.

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  177. Aara laughs, leaning against the door to their apartment. "Too easy."

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  178. As soon as Goddard disappears into her room, Gath steps out of Goddard's carrying a few books. "Oh, hmm well, I suppose I'm not surprised you would both come back up here. I was just leaving..."

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  179. She blushes a little and steps out of his way. "Honestly...he might get a little loud, so..." she shrugs. "I tried to tell him we should study," she laughs.

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  180. "I see..." Gath gives Aara a small bow and moves past her.

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  181. He pauses and turns his head slightly. "Yes?"

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  182. "Let's you and I get a drink tonight?" she asks shyly. "Away from here?"

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  183. Gath looks surprised and confused. "If that is what you wish."

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  184. "I'd like to try and be friends," she says with a shrug. "I just think we'd have a better start without Goddard and Two and...all that downstairs."

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  185. "There are an awful lot of...distractions...here. I'll be around. Is that all?"

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  186. Gath nods before he leaves the apartment, closing the door behind him.

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